when i started this calendar project 6 years ago, there wasn’t a single stud model to speak of. now i see them everywhere. mostly on the internet but i don’t doubt that i’ll see them in magazines, billboards etc in no time. so i thought i’d give some pointers to all the young stud models breakin’ into the biz.

now b4 i go on, i have 2 preface everything that i say this week about modeling is coming from the point of view of a photographer (me). i am not a model. what i do is observe and record what i c. i c things that the models doesn’t. and having said that, i have compiled a list of posing do’s and don’ts based on my experiences behind the camera:

STUD POSES DO’S AND DON’TS

DO be mindful of the lighting. if there’s a bright light on your left, don’t turn your head to the right. i know u think that’s your good side but if your good side is in the shadows, no one will see how good it is.

DON’T: tilt your head too much in any one direction. it can make you look like your neck is broken or catch an unpleasant “up your nose” shot. tilting too far down makes your chin disappear.

DO: use magazines for inspiration when learning to pose. i honestly don’t see too many “club squats” in GQ. so if that’s your first urge when the camera is pointed at u, think twice. k?

DON’T: refer to pop stars as modeling role models. they are not models. some are great in pictures and all but seriously, if i get one mo’ stud imitating Uncle L.L. lickin her lips repeatedly i’m gon scream. stop it. besides, it’s a still picture not video. when i catch u in mid-lick it looks crazy.

DO: practice posing in front of a mirror to be comfortable with your body and learn what feels natural.

DON’T: be rigid and uncomfortable–it will show on camera.

DO: fake it. some people say that u shouldn’t but i disagree in this instance. fake it until u make it, i say. if u’r feeling self conscious in front of the camera, pretend that u’r not until the confidence comes. and it will with practice.

DO: learn how to experiment. even if you think the pose won’t look good, try it out anyway and find out for yourself. variety, variety, variety. whatever ‘new’ pose u come up with just might turn out 2 b your signature piece that makes u stand out from the rest.

DO:practice facial expressions in front of the mirror in addition to posing your body. get your Zoolander on! lol seriously. i know the whole Zoolander thing is a bit of a joke but i notice that everyone has one whether they know it or not. everyone falls into that one expression in front of the camera. and that’s ok, if it’s a good expression. try other expressions. think of moods. being a model is very much like being an actor. u have 2 create moods and feelings. try happy, sad, mischievous, mysterious, pensive… everything can’t b sexy. or can it? ;) and even if u r doing your “sexy” look makes sure it truly is sexy. Sometimes it comes across as mean or for some: blank.

DO: practice posing with another model or looking at magazines to get inspiration for how to interact with one or more models, male, femmes and other studs. I will go into more depth on posing with another later.

DON’T: ignore the small stuff. pay attention to your hands, fingers, feet and toes when posing. doing weird stuff with them can ruin an otherwise great pose.

DOlearn how to extend your neck when appropriate to prevent it from looking short and stumpy. also learn how to create nice lines using your arms and legs.

DON’T: only learn how to pose standing up. It is important to know how to pose while sitting down, crouching, running, jumping, walking, lying down, etc.

DON’T:go overboard with posing or feel you need to do a completely different pose every time the camera takes a picture. many times simple changes to existing poses is more than enough. example, your body is perfect but your hand is in your pocket. instead of moving everything. just take the hand out of the pocket. then in the next shot, change the direction of your eyes.

DON’Tdo poses that make you look short, stubby, or appear that you’re missing limbs. be aware of your appendages when you do a pose that involves being seated or call for you to crouch. i have yet to photograph a really tall stud. so make the most of what u got. extend!

DO: learn how to be completely at home in front of the camera. in fact, find a photographer that u like 2 work with and work with them as much as possible. Then..

DO work with your photographer to create the appropriate poses for each modeling gig. it is actually a part of my job to pose u. some models require a lot of help. some don’t. don’t feel bad if u do. sometimes i get real quiet because i’m working with the technical side of the photograph. if u need feedback. speak up. not just with me but any photographer. but….

DON’T expect the photographer to tell you how to pose or direct you for every single shot. It is up to you to create that flow. the photographer will assist you when needed but don’t expect them to show you how to do your job.

DO learn how to do and hold difficult poses. With practice you’ll be able to pose in an unnatural way but make it come across as natural in front of the camera.

DON’T: do stupid Myspace poses or poses that you’d do if you and your friends were clowning around with a camera. If you’re going to be a model then you’ll have to pose like one (but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun). see, note above re: squatting. don’t throw up the deuces, the middle finger or …heaven forbid, a gang sign.

DO: have fun with your poses. don’t be afraid to laugh, smile, or act goofy (within reason and when appropriate) in front of the camera. i don’t think your stud card will be taken away if u smile. i know many of u got some pretty ones, don’t b stingy. share it. besides, it’ll add variety 2 your portfolio.

DON’T: think you have it all figured out. when it comes to posing, chances are you’re going to have to practice.

hope this list helps u up and coming stud models. I wanna c great pics…

p.s. oh yeah, one last one. if u’r not doing an updated artistic take on Rodin’s The Thinker, the whole hand-on-the-chin pose is so played out, y’all. that’s a Hard Candy DON’T. i’m tired of that one.

Are You Femme Butch or Androgyn:

this quiz asks 10 simple questions that round up your entire self and then informs u of what u already know. duh!

Butch? or Femme?

simple name for a not so simple test. this one is more in depth. has 100 questions that pose insane hypotheticals, obvious stereotypes, and intriguing personality observations. some of the questions will have u wondering “what the hell does this have to do with my sexuality?!” yet at the same time cause u 2 stop and think about what it is specifically the type of road u like 2 walk on. there are literary questions. food questions. the quiz asks u about habits and routines. oh yeah and question 61. asks which snack are u. hard candy was my answer. ha!

if u’r like me all of these random questions could actually fascinate you. at some point u forget about the ’stud/femme’ thing and think about the ‘you’ thing. what exactly is it that makes me..’me’.

then u get to the end of the long ass quiz and u’r reminded that it’s about another label. but this isn’t so bad. it comes with numbers, stats, explanations and there’s even a chart! i like the more indepth discussion this quiz provides. it is far more accurate description than any quiz that i’ve taken but it still has 2 give u a label in order to give u an explanation. oh well, i think we’re stuck with them y’all.

p.s. in case anyone is interested here’s what my score said and it is me exactly:

SOFT ANDROGYNE
Your score placed you in the category of Soft Androgyne. This is the “steel magnolia” type. You may also wish to review Strong Femme and Androgyne, the two categories surrounding you. In a ranking across the femme/butch gamut, if 1 is femme and 100 is butch, you fall between 41 and 47 on the scale. For a review of where you fall in the overall population in numbers, refer to this chart. Your group is a large part of the 35-45 age group for the most part and has a wide mix of genders and orientations.

You enjoy a fairly strong butch for a partner, along the lines of a Feminist or Classic Butch, and take on other Androgynes as friends. Family is not terribly important to you, and odds are good you came from a home where that was not the primary issue. You may have a good, but distant relation with your family, or may not be in touch at all, but it’s pretty certain you don’t live with them unless you have to, or in the same city.

but regardless of what i think, it still counts as another example of the boxes that people try 2 put us in. check this list out.

I. “touch me not” Butch/Stud

This is usually the type of dyke that has gender identity disorder(she thinks and wants to be a man).She takes on the very dominant role in relationships, the male role to be exact. She dresses like a man and acts like a man. There is nothing feminine about her. She is sometimes more of a man than some men. In bed she will only want to make love to her women with a strap on. She will not want women to touch her breast, or her vagina, go down on her or provide her with any type of pleasure. She wants to do all the pleasuring. She does not want women to touch her breast etc, because it reminds her that she is a woman.

II. New Age Stud aka Totally Tomboy

She also takes on the dominant role in the relationship. She does not mind her fem touching her body, giving her head etc. She likes to be pleasured in bed by her women. She however is the dominant party in bed and is usually if not always, on top. She will use a strap-on occassionally in bed, but it is not necessary to love making. She can either dress very masculine, or she can sometimes be androgenous. On rare occassions or if she has to (like meeting the parents for the first time) she can go femme for short periods.

III. Fem-Stud

This is the type of dyke that is very dominant and is all boy in her thinking. She however has no problem rocking a short tight hairdo that would make a femme jealous. Or she could wear it long. She will usually wear baggy clothes and dress boy on the street, but she will do the femme thing occassionally. These are the type of studs that rule Coperate America. She will throw on a Jones of New York suit like its nothing, but still have a unmistakably boy edge. She is so fly that even men are drawn to her charms, even though she is very obviously gay. She is very similar to the New Age Stud in bed.

IV. Pseudo stud aka the “I wish I was hard” stud

This is the type of stud that is a pretender. She is hard on the street, around her boyz and femmes that she is not dating. When she goes home to her femme, however, she drops the facade. Her girl takes control and may even dominate her in bed. She may even allow her girl to use a strap-on with her. Her girl may sometimes wonder who the femme really is in the relationship. This type of stud may also have a secret attraction to fem-studs, new age studs and in some cases butches. A lot of white dykes fall in this category (u see themwalking around holding hands, butch with butch.) On rare cases you see them in the black community. You know the type, where you are constantly wondering who`s the daddy. This is the type of stud that needs to have her stud card revoked!!!

V. Fake Butch

This is usually a femme who wants to attract other femmes by dressing like a Butch/Stud. She will try to
act the hard role, but her heart is not in it. She is only doing it to
attract a femme. When they get into a relationship with a femme, they usually can`t keep up the pretense and eventually femme out.

V1. The Versatile Dyke AKA “the lost somewhere in between” dyke..***New category***

This is thetypeof dyke that constantly keeps the masses guessing…is she a stud, is she a femme? Sometimes when you see her out, she is dressed totally femme, yet other times she does the Tomboy/Soft butch thing. She is attracted to goodlooking butch types, but just as attracted to stunning femmes. She likes what is pleasing to her eye. If she is with a stud, she acts the submissive part and is totally femme (she does not do Tomboys/Soft butches that often, only because they can`t keep her in check like a Butch can). When she is with a femme, she plays the dominant role, and will occassinally do the Soft butch/Tomboy thing, if her girls wants it like that. In bed she can be dominant or submissive, whatever she is called on to be. But don`t be mislead by this one, homegirl can work a strap-on or her tongue as well as any butch/tomboy can.

NOW TO DO YOU FEMMES

I. Pillow Princess or Ultra Femme

This is the type that usually gets with a “touch me not” Butch/Stud. She is used to being taken care of by her butch. She is also used to being pleasured totally in bed. She will not give her women head (because she does notknow how, or never has had to learn how.) She will treat her butch like a woman would treat a man. Their roles are old fashioned and rigid.

II. New Age femme

She is all woman and very feminine. She will however like to play an active role in the bedroom. She will enjoy pleasuring her woman, and especially like to give her head. She will usually get with a “touch me not” butch and be unhappy, or get with a new age Stud/Fem-stud and be satisfied totally. She will also mess around with femmes ocassionally,
for the sexual gratification, and to be able to explore her like a Butch or a Tomboy won`t allow. She however won`t be able to form long lasting relationships with femmes, because she loves the dominance of a Butch or a Tomboy.

III. Dominant/Aggressive femme

She will dress and act totally feminine. She will however be very dominant. She willonly date feminine women, and will usually take on the dominant role in sex. This category of femme also occassionaly do the fake butch thing.

New Category****and a lil` something for you bi-sexual women that hit me up asking about where you fit in..

1. True Bi-sexual

This is a woman that can form meaningful relationships with both sexes. When she is with a woman, she is with her, and fits totally intothe gay world with no problems. When she is with a man, she fits totally into the straight world, and totally loves him. She is not really confused, she just falls in love with a person and not a gender. She usually prefers sex with women, but some can enjoy both equally. She is usually attracted to stud/tomboy types but may have a lot of problems in the relationship, because of the stud`s/tomboy`s fear that she is not true to the game, and will eventually go back to men. Sexually she is usually aggressive in bed.

11. Fake bi-sexual

This is the type of woman that most of us lesbians hate to deal with. This is the type of woman that is not really bi-sexual, she is just having sex with a woman for the “freak factor.” In other words she is just freaky in bed, and that is all it is to her “just being freaky.” She will usually have a boyfriend and want him to join in on the fun. Though sometimes, if their man is cool with it, they will have sex one on one with a woman. These are the type of aggravating h@es that hit your page up asking if you are down for a threesome. Or have personal ads asking for threesomes. These are also the women on Bp who put on their page “I already got a man..just looking for a feminine female friend…so men don`t respond.” A lot of the time they are just having sex with a woman to please their man. They are mostly only attracted to femme women, because this is the only type of woman that their man will allow in the bedroom. Also they are just doing it for sex, so they want a woman that looks and acts like a woman. This is thetype of woman that most of us “real dykes” run from. She will usually date other fake- bisexual women, or luck up and get with a bi-curious woman and turn her off or on, to sex with other women.

the news this past week wore me down. no lemme correct that. the reactions 2 the news wore me down. i have this little guilty pleasure of reading comments to news stories. sometimes, i scroll down and read the comments b4 i actually read the news. can’t help it. it’s where i get my drama fix.

anyway, last week Palin said something controversial (what else is new) and it sparked a whole man vs. woman debate. being a womanis one label that i cannot shake and it’s one that carries a lot of responsibilities, stereotypes, privileges and hinerances. then there was our president. it’s almost hilarious that when Obama was elected folks started throwing around the term “post-racial”. seriously? his win actually brough out more racism. every time he’s in the news, the worst of the worst racists come out 2 hate him. i feel more threatened now then i’ve ever felt in my life. now mind you, my age puts me after the atroscities of slavery, jim crow, segregation and the like. we’re moving away from the quiet covert racism to the very upfront, i hate ni&&ers kind. now mind u, i don’t hate whites (or any other group). but that doesn’t mean, i don’t stay on my toes when i’m around them. being on the alert all the damn time is exhausting.

now the courts are making headway on the gays getting married thing (yay). but now here comes the Bible toting hypocrites. i know my Bible is wrong cuz it’s not the “hate only gays” kind. stories about gays getting married always gets thousands of comments. u know, outside of my family, i rarely associate or socialize with str8? i don’t have a problem with them, i just… *sigh* staying on my toes again ya know. a lot of folks r cool but a lot of folks are not. a lot. i just need to relax.

small little nitpicky labels: went 2 the beach last week. work a bikini. yeah, it was little bit too tiny. but i’m small, i could get away with it. that is until a “thick” gyrl comes along and decides to hate. been struggling with body image my whole life. it is what it is. skinny. that’s another one my labels. i actually allowed a couple of young gyrls make me feel self concious. damn shame. almost forty and i let someone make me feel bad about my body? really? it was a moment. i got over it. just not as quickly as i’d liked. some chick from american idol was in the news. got her teeth fixed. is it news? nope. did it matter? not at all. not to me or anyone else. instead the commentary centered around her locs. i love locs. but soooooooooo many people hate them. i’m a dread head. another one of my labels. not a burden. just another label.

everyday was another label placed on me like bricks in a knapsack. black… female… gay…then i look at my gyrl and realize she has one more brick 2 carry. black… female… gay… butch…

i think about the stares. the rude remarks. the fights we’ve had. over the role of “daddy”. tryin 2 find your place in a society that doesn’t want 2 make room for u has got 2 b taxing. i’m surprised more studs aren’t permanently angry. pissed that they are treated like everyone’s enemy. the label of stud does carry a stigma. it carries the pressures of what u’r supposed 2 b. come on y’all, everyone has heard someone talk about what a stud is supposed 2 wear. how she’s supposed 2 walk and talk. what her role is in a relationship. all that despite the fact that in general (homohpobic) society a stud is not even supposed to exist. it’s like a damned if u do, damned if u don’t type of thing. if u gon b a stud u gotta be this way. and it’s not just one way. it’s a million ways. folks got so many different versions of what a stud is, it’s not even funny. i love studs. (hence the calendar) but sometimes, i do think the whole concept is ridiculous. it’s unecessarily complicated. and too much trouble. so much work. i watch studs and get tired. (i’m sure they watch femmes and get tired too. wearing stiletos ain’t no joke. LOL) but seriously. i admire studs. i sympathize with them and sometimes feel bad for them. femmes don’t get half the shit that studs do. all the more reason why they need our love and support. by ‘our’ i mean the entire community. not just femmes.

yeah, i said labels are necessary. but i wish the world could focus on just one. one that we all share. one that binds us. one that makes all those other labels stick. one that encompasses everything. the good and the bad. a label without stereotypes and stigmas. one that has no pros or cons. it just is.

at the end of each day. and at the beginning of every tomorrow, i reject most of the labels and sit in a quiet place and just allow myself to hold on to that one label. and that’s the label of… human.

here we go again. labels. stud, tomboi, androgyn, butch, domme, aggressive… u know the list. “why do we need labels?” the question echoes in every conversation about the subject. well, i think we need them so folks could know what the hell we’re talking about.

“what kinda wall calendar is it, jennifer?”

“ugh… umm… a uh… calendar of womyn who don’t wear skirts too often…”

does that work? is that better? is that less harsh?

i get it. no on wants 2 b pigeon holed. hell, my gyrl doesn’t even go by the term stud and the calendar is dedicated to her! doesn’t really matter. or does it?

there was even a slightly heated conversation regarding the androgynous model Milon at her runway show (TOTR) here in Chicago. Someone felt that she wasn’t androgynous and shouldn’t have even used to the word 2 describe herself. really? really, really? so now we have people who reject labels and tell other folks what labels they should carry.

when Hard Candy Calendar started, there wasn’t a dominant female model in sight. it just wasn’t accepted imagery. now six years later (yes, i know the math: 6 yrs but only 3 calendars. i’ll explain later), there are androgyn models everywhere. i’ve received emails/letters from gyrls/womyn who are inspired an encouraged because they see faces like theirs in print. labels b damned. they know who they are and they see that the calendar is about them. Hard Candy Calendar’s motto has always been “Bringing the Dominant Womanhe Forefront”. Now in 2010 they’re being seen adn presented in full glory but we still don’t know what 2 call them?! really?

Do labels help or hinder? Take the poll on the Hard Candy Calendar website

“Drag was originally a word used to describe the actual clothing actors wore on stage when they performed as women. As you no doubt learned by watching Shakespeare in Love, female roles used to be played not by actual females, but delicate young male actors. Even so, the term doesn’t actually date back to Shakespeare’s time. Instead, it came into popular usage during the age of British vaudeville shows when the cross-dressing was used for comic effect. The men would dress in drag and the women wore breeches as a theatrical method of satirizing the qualities unique to the opposite sex. It would not be until almost the middle of the 20th century that drag was specifically used as a term to describe female impersonators and this was also the era in which drag began to become more closely associated with homosexuality.”

so Bill S. didn’t come up with it. well at least according to this one unchecked source i found on the internet. another source of knowledge that we all must submit too;).

well at least that explanation helps me out a little bit cuz i thought the drag thing only referred to me, but of course there are drag kings as well as queens. soooo, what’s the difference between a drag king and a stud? while i know that being in drag is the full ASSumption of being a man and being a stud is still a woman who carries a masculine appearance. wow, that last sentence so over simplified my dominant sisters, it almost seems offensive. but y’all know i love ya. hell, i’m the unofficial #1 stud lover, so i’m really not tryin 2 b that way. sometimes, i don’t have the vocabulary 2 properly express my thoughts. so bear with me on this one.

despite that very simple distinction between the two, there is a whole spectrum of womyn that fall in between the drag king and the basic tomboy sporting baggy pants. there are womyn who relate more to male energy. so much so that they emote it. so wearing the clothes aren’t a conscious effort to become manly but more like a result of already being manly. chicken or the egg maybe? does it make a difference? i think it does.

in the end Mulan gets her man. she was just in drag. and how often (if at all, are str8 womyn drag kings?) mulan, didn’t relate 2 the boys at all. barely understood them. whereas i know studs that could walk amongst bio dudes and not miss a beat. have great conversations about sports, drink a beer and genuinely complain about womyn. fascinating. ever heard a stud talk about womyn as if they weren’t one? i hear it all the time. so it’s not drag for them. but then there are other studs who acknowledge their womanhood, only deal with womyn, and only seem 2 relate 2 womyn. r they in drag? do the clothes match what’s inside?

when it is just an outfit and when it is a manifestation of the inner person?

p.s. i like the end of the movie in which this male dominated society that treats womyn like second class citizens all bowed down to her for her heroic efforts. even the emperor bowed to Mulan.

so what’s the big deal u say? absolutely nothing. and everything. it was there as it should b. no big deal. gay a couple pictured right next to a str8 couple and an interracial couple equally. shiny, happy smiling faces. not controversial. not sensationalized or stereotyped. not sexualized or pornographic. just two womyn in love. yay! that’s all i ever wanted. just to be.

it was no big deal at all. there was no controversy. well, i’m speaking 2 soon. the issue just came out. who knows. essence might get letters. but i’m hopeful that they won’t. and as small as it is, i noticed and it mattered. it’s a small step. but it’s a step indeed.

now i don’t read Ebony and Essence cover 2 cover each and every month. so i can’t say with absolute authority that this isn’t a regular occurence. it’s just the one that i happened 2 catch. and i’m happier for it.

prior 2 seeing it, i had been hearing and participating in a lot of conversations with people condemning the movie for its subject matter. some didn’t want to put that image of black folks out there. a sentiment that makes very little sense to me. other just don’t like 2 face such a serious topic. some are avoiding the movie due to personal emotional constraints. at some point, the band aid has to come off. it’s not gonna feel good and it’s not gonna be pretty underneath. but it has to come off. and as Mo’nique said in her acceptance speech: “it’s now time to tell. and it’s okay.”

i remember being on a message board once and the topic of coming out stories was presented. someone starts a story about being 13 or 14 and having sex with a 27 year old woman. another story gets posted about someone being 15 and having a sexual encounter with a woman in her 30s. and the stories continued on and on. i was shocked and frozen. these were not coming out stories. these were stories of molestation. a few other posters were as appalled as i was and stated as such. many of these womyn who recounted these tales responded with anger and insult. they seriously didn’t feel that they were taken advantage of. i really am saddened 2 realize that u actually have 2 tell someone that they were molested. they not only didn’t know. but thought these situations were ok. they retold the tales with pleasant reverie. almost boastfully. i worried. if they thought that it was ok, then who’s 2 say that they won’t in turn at the age of 36 or 40 go by some high school and find themselves a girlfriend in hopes of creating a “coming out story” for someone else. they didn’t come out. their sexuality wasn’t realized at that moment some unscrupulous adult touched them in their private place. they don’t know that. and i know that ignorance is bliss sometimes. but not in this instance. not when there’s a strong possibility that the cycle will be repeated. it is not ok for grown folks to touch children! period. only cuz it didn’t hurt. or only cuz it was woman on woman. or only cuz someone is a teenager who thinks they’re grown doesn’t make any of those stories ok. i hate 2 b the bearer of bad news. folks always kill the messenger. that’s why Precious got so much shit. why so many people wanted to avoid the movie like the plague.

i’m glad Mo’nique got that award. i’m glad 4 as much attention as possible 2 be given to a movie like this. i hope all the Preciouses of the world see this and know that it’s not cool. break the cycle. don’t do 2 others what has been done 2 u. it’s painful to watch. and i’m sure 4 some, it’s even more painful to admit. but time heals all wounds. the wounds won’t heal properly underneath that dirty band aid. brace yourself. rip it off and get better. now’s the time to tell and it’s okay.

so it surprises me when i’m asked about why certain people are not represented. well, i thought i was being diplomatic by allowing the community 2 choose 4 itself. i guess i was wrong. or was i?

after getting yet another comment about the lack of “big gyrls”, i looked over the calendar again. i took note that the sizes of my models are in fact varied. it’s not polite 2 ask or reveal a woman’s weight, but i can say that the ladies in the Hard Candy Calendar start on the low end of the scale (myself), 2 very “healthy” sized individuals. take a second look and u’ll c.

then, i’m also confronted by people regarding the ages. ok, i admit, last year’s edition was full of youngsters but this year has a wider range. being a woman in her late thirties, i ain’t exactly a spring chicken. many of the gyrls are in their early 20s and the years expand all the way up to DJ Levi who just hit her milestone age of 50 last year. I even blogged about it. so i really don’t feel so bad. there is variety within the Hard Candy Stud Calendar.

now my question back is…how come so few see it? did i do a super awesome job with the pics? :)well that’s what i’m supposed 2 do right? or are people looking 4 a more natural, more “real” appearance? hey, if that’s what the people want, i can make that happen. we’ll c what next year has in store.

but in the mean time, check out Hard Candy 2010: AfroZodiac. it’s full of sexxxy studs (and femmes) of all shapes, sizes and ages.

femmes are the invisible gays. people just don’t see us or refust 2 believe that we exist. feminine lesbians are often accused of going thru a phase. or we bisexual, whish is great 4 str8 guys. u see gyrl-on-gyrl (and that phrase belongs exclusively to feminine gyrls only) is strictly for their benefit. seriously, have u see the commercial for the latest American Pie movie? in one 30 second spot, there are 3 scenes of gyrls kissing gyrls. that’s a lot of same sex kissing 2 b a movie about str8 guys. and in allt he scenes there’s a guy watching.

the image of femmes in the media is that we’re objects. toys. we’re never on the front page of a gay magazine. we’re not the picture of gay marriage in the news. hell, for all intents and pruposes we’re just not considered gay.

well, we are.

it’s not just the str8 men that use femmes 4 their own purpose. str8 womyn do it too. if u ask me, they’re the ones that cause the most damage. they’re the ones that spontaneously decide 2 kiss all up on their best friend just 2 get some man’s attention. they reaffirm men’s belief that it’s all about them. or they turn 2 womyn after some man breaks their heart or their nose and somehow they think that’ll change their sexuality. they learn that lesbianism doesn’t heal any wounds when they find themselves back in their ex-boyfriend’s bed.

str8 womyn barrel thru the gay community perpeturating stereoytypes and hurting feelings all the while posing as feminine gay womyn. allt he while real femmes go unnoticed. well how could we be? we don’t have a “look”. we blend in.

while i was putting studs on a pedestal for the Hard Candy Calendar, i inadvertently ignored my femme sisters. last year they got no shout outs, no acknowledgement. and i’m sorry for that. this year, i at least dedicated the last page to them. they need it. i also am putting them up in the gallery. i just wannted to let people know.

we’re femmes and we’re here too. check us out!