prior 2 seeing it, i had been hearing and participating in a lot of conversations with people condemning the movie for its subject matter. some didn’t want to put that image of black folks out there. a sentiment that makes very little sense to me. other just don’t like 2 face such a serious topic. some are avoiding the movie due to personal emotional constraints. at some point, the band aid has to come off. it’s not gonna feel good and it’s not gonna be pretty underneath. but it has to come off. and as Mo’nique said in her acceptance speech: “it’s now time to tell. and it’s okay.”

i remember being on a message board once and the topic of coming out stories was presented. someone starts a story about being 13 or 14 and having sex with a 27 year old woman. another story gets posted about someone being 15 and having a sexual encounter with a woman in her 30s. and the stories continued on and on. i was shocked and frozen. these were not coming out stories. these were stories of molestation. a few other posters were as appalled as i was and stated as such. many of these womyn who recounted these tales responded with anger and insult. they seriously didn’t feel that they were taken advantage of. i really am saddened 2 realize that u actually have 2 tell someone that they were molested. they not only didn’t know. but thought these situations were ok. they retold the tales with pleasant reverie. almost boastfully. i worried. if they thought that it was ok, then who’s 2 say that they won’t in turn at the age of 36 or 40 go by some high school and find themselves a girlfriend in hopes of creating a “coming out story” for someone else. they didn’t come out. their sexuality wasn’t realized at that moment some unscrupulous adult touched them in their private place. they don’t know that. and i know that ignorance is bliss sometimes. but not in this instance. not when there’s a strong possibility that the cycle will be repeated. it is not ok for grown folks to touch children! period. only cuz it didn’t hurt. or only cuz it was woman on woman. or only cuz someone is a teenager who thinks they’re grown doesn’t make any of those stories ok. i hate 2 b the bearer of bad news. folks always kill the messenger. that’s why Precious got so much shit. why so many people wanted to avoid the movie like the plague.

i’m glad Mo’nique got that award. i’m glad 4 as much attention as possible 2 be given to a movie like this. i hope all the Preciouses of the world see this and know that it’s not cool. break the cycle. don’t do 2 others what has been done 2 u. it’s painful to watch. and i’m sure 4 some, it’s even more painful to admit. but time heals all wounds. the wounds won’t heal properly underneath that dirty band aid. brace yourself. rip it off and get better. now’s the time to tell and it’s okay.

Instead of abandoning ourselves, we can learn to inhabit ourselves. The body is tremendously homesick for us, and it waits for our return.

Wise women have long said that the body is the temple of the soul. It is also the medium through which we express in physical form the deepest qualities and intentions we carry inside. In this world a vast array of issues, states of mind, and feelings manifest in and through our bodies. Compassion, love, physical and mental pain, tension, anger, hate, jealousy, things from the past, and stress all shape our physical experience as if we were clay in the hands of a sculptor – and we are the sculptors.

As African-American women, we have had to maintain strong backs, strong minds, and a firm self constitution in an effort to prepare ourselves to find our place in this world. We have withstood persecution, disenfranchisement, and a plethora of issues in order to get from where we were to where we are now. Often it is our spiritual foundation that was put into place when we were children, going to Sunday school and church with grandparents or our parents, which created a sacred place for us to go in the time of trouble. Sometimes that place of safety was denied us because we were same gender loving. To be whole we must reclaim that sacred space and embrace our higher power, our spirituality, and the divine within us.

Sometime we simply have to surrender to that special place for our peace, comfort and healing. Spiritually, no action is more important than surrender. Surrender is the tenderest impulse of the heart acting out of love for oneself to get exactly what we need. Surrender is living in the moment, not imposing expectations from the past.

Imagine finally being free to be all that you want to be. Imagine waking up each day grateful for a renewed beginning. Your inner voice sings to you: This is the good life; you look forward to working towards your fullest potential. There is no need to worry about finding your own space, you have it, by creating it. You have created your own world by making bold and often unconventional choices to guarantee your well-being.

As women who love women, we are more than qualified to anticipate each others needs, and fully equipped in mind, body, soul and spirit to be available for each other. There is an awesome power generated through women coming together in S.H.E. Circle’s for prayer, meditation, altar preparation, healing rituals, support, and affirmation.

Through the practice of prayer and meditation, comes rest. Rest for our minds, body, souls, and spirits. Rest means complete relaxation, freeing the mind and body to do nothing so it can repair and become recharged.

Sit outside on a warm breezy day; quietly meditate in a room together, filled with sensuous candles of aromatherapy; or when your alone relax in a hot, fragrant, bath, make it your time. Take time to reconnect to your spirituality and the divine. When you take time for you and realize the wonderful effect it has, you can share the results of the experience with a friend… for “We are our Sistah’s Keep-Her.”

Submitted by Reverend Dyan “Abena” McCray
Founding Pastor of Unity Fellowship Church Washington, DC
S.H.E. Circle National Advisory Committee

Courageous, Beautiful and Graceful can’t even begin 2 describe her and countless other womyn that have battled the disease but that’s where i began…

i lovingly call them ribbon ladies for obvious reasons and i hope others can feel inspired by and use these images to inspire others. they can be found on the Kinetic Cards & Gifts e-boutique. these ladies are featured on greeting cards, mugs, tote bags and as framed prints.