hardcandycalendar.com BLOG » Family

Inspire me.

Administrator — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:28:14 +0000

inspiration.

i’ve said b4 and i’ll say it a million times more that my gyrl is the inspiration behind the Hard Candy Calendar project. but she isn’t the only source of inspiration. the world is my inspiration. a great song can force me 2 c things that i never seen b4. a gorgeous movie can make me write a poem. the smell of cookies makes me wanna dance. u know that happy dance that little kids do. singing “i’m gon get some coooookieess!” yeah. that’s inspiration. anything that causes a show of self expression is inspiration. a musician on the street makes me wanna write a screenplay. a piece of garbage blowing in the wind makes me want 2 step up 2 a podium and make a speech. inspired, i am. but u know what inspires me the most? people doing stuff.

LOL i know that sounds incredibly simple. almost stupid. but look around u. there are soo many people not doing a damn thing with themselves. nothing. y’all see them in your family. or maybe one or two of your friends. only one or two tho. cuz if u got more friends than that who aren’t about anything, then chances are u aren’t either. i’m just saying like attracts.

i have been fortunate 2 b inspired by people who are doing all kinds of things. from the grand (writing, directing a producing a movie), to the sublime (counseling cancer patients), to the pure (spending every week caring for grandparents). doing something, anything, with yourself is not an impossible task. nor is it a requirement in life. that’s why it’s such a big deal 2 me. just like Joe Clark said, “all i gotta do is stay black and die”. some people have taken that to heart. so the ones that step way from that and decide to write a poem. or spend extra time tending to their garden, i can’t help but notice.

Nike has the best slogan in the world. Just Do It. beautiful in its simplicity. full of power. dynamic. and inspiring.

so y’all know what i do. what do u do? inspire me.

Peace, Love, Joy….. & Hope

Administrator — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:30:03 +0000

Peace, Love, Joy, Hope Greeting Card available at Kinetic Cards & Gifts

i never needed nor wanted another reason 2 b an advocate 4 breast cancer awareness but i got one. my aunt. i just found out this past weekend that she had breast cancer. she said it quickly and matter-of-factly. no emotion in her voice at all. i, on the other hand was shook. with all my knowledge about survival rates and such, i still began 2 worry.

actually, i did more than worry. i cried. i know i shouldn’t. i know that with early detection, a woman can beat it. hell, i’m living with a survivor! but that didn’t stop me from feeling scared. that didn’t stop me from thinkin about the radiation. the chemo. and all the things that those treatments do 2 a person. i know my aunt is a strong person. she’s come thru many other obstacles in her lifetime. she will come thru this.

so yet another woman i know affected by breast cancer is in my prayers. this time it’s my blood. so now when the doc asks me do i have family history, i’ll say yes. not looking forward 2 that. but it’s not about me. this calendar isn’t about me. it isn’t about vanity. it’s about them. it’s about love. it’s about peace. it’s about Hope. things we all need this holiday season.

-Jenn-

I’m Thankful Today and Everyday

Administrator — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:25:34 +0000

A lil’ something i wrote for this day.

I Am Thankful 2 Be… Me
I am thankful for being black, female…
and gay
Three strikes against us. That’s what they say…
that’s what they say

They. With their mouths open and their ears closed
Seeing only what they want. Not knowing what they oppose

I am thankful for being black. Rich not in money but in soul
I am abundant in culture more precious than gold

I thank God that I have a deep and complex past
Reminded of it daily. It’s legacy lasts

Facing my oppressors regularly and growing stronger
I don’t have 2 bow down any longer

For the strength of my blackness, I am thankful.
I am thankful

I am so very thankful for being a wo-man
I can do things that no man can. No man

I am full of thanx 4 my ability to give life
I did so happily. Not once… but twice

Thankfully I am reminded of this gift on a montly basis
I gladly deal with the sexists as well as the racists

With a gentle nature, I accept the trials that I must face
Then resist with maturity, style and grace

I am thankful 2 b black and female.
I am so very thankful

Thankful I am for being gay
Relieved that I didn’t have to choose 2 b this way

Thankful for the chance 2 love thru more obstacles than most should

I can experience a bond with a mate that no heteroexuals could

Thankful 4 the courage 2 b out

Out of the darkness of the closet

Out of the restraints of shackles

Out from the illusion of the glass ceiling

Out….
and thankful

I am overflowing with thankfulness for being black, female…
and gay

Strength, grace and courage are not strikes against me…
No not in any way

Gifts that continue to give each day more and more
Black, female and gay are blessings that I am forever thankful for

Men not wanted but needed

Administrator — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:23:37 +0000

it’s June and just like last month was about mothers. this month is about the fathers. well, i dunno if i could dedicate a month’s worth of posts about men (and how they relate to us), but let’s see.
last month’s poll was about dating womyn with children. pleasantly, most people displayed no prejudice against the mommies. a few people would under certain conditions and one person said they’d date a woman with kids as long as the father wasn’t in the picture. that’s a very curious answer. i would love 2 ask her 2 elaborate. but since i can’t. i will go on the conversations that i’ve personally had about men and the necessity of their presence.

the common stereotype about lesbians is that we hate men. i’ll speak 4 myself in saying that that is absolutely not true. i was a daddy’s gyrl all the way. i love my brother dearly. and i have a slew of uncles and male cousins that have made my life much richer. i don’t have a romantic interest in them but i recognize that they do bring a balance to life. i imagine that the only reason that that person said they’d get involved with a mommy if the daddy wasn’t around is due to the idea that they may be threatened by his presence. but if a person is worried about their mate going back, then it doesn’t matter if the baby daddy was there or not. there’s a lack of trust and that’s a-whole-nother issue.

i believe that kids should have the benefit of a father or father figure in their lives but not in that rigid traditional sense. i am of the belief that it does take a village to raise a child and think that that male figure can come in the form of granddad, uncle, brother, cousin and even friend down the block. while i was adamant about my kids’ father being in their lives and am grateful that he is. however, if he wasn’t, i would get past the disappointment and find other ways to get that masculine influence in their life. it’s sad to think that there are some lesbians that think that men were not needed. that’s crazy talk. everyone and everything in this Universe is needed. ( i swear one day scientists are gonna find out that the appendix did something great for us. but i digress LOL) males are needed. but i think how they’re injected into one’s life is flexible.

Worries of a Gay Mom

Administrator — Wed, 20 May 2009 00:16:44 +0000

i’m a natural worrier. i just do it. for everything. i worry about germs. i worry about war. i worry about finances. i worry about the weather. just worry. and having children multiplied the worry factor by 100. i have 2 little human beings to worry about. i worry about their health. i worry about their grades. i worry about their future. i worry. the same worries that all mothers have. now add in the gay thing. that just multiplied the worry by another 100.

i worry that they won’t understand. i wonder if they’ll be teased. i worry if they’ll resent me. i worry if they’ll miss out on a “normal” life. i worry if they’ll have worries.

i second guessed myself for a little while but realized that i can only do the best i can and let the Universe handle the rest. i meditate and pray. i rationalize and explain. but the worries persist. i don’t feel guilt…

anymore…

i worry. they love their other mom. but only after a very rough adjustment phase. i worry if it’s over or if more adjustment is needed. my son will be a teenager soon. i worry that gay mommy will be more ammunition for rebellion. he’s a good boy but i can’t stop hormones from doing what they do.

i worry about the burden that they have to bear. seems like a bit much to place on an autistic daughter. she already has one challenge and here i am giving her another. tho’ she is handling it all like a pro. i’m so proud of her. i wonder. i worry. then i wonder. where this all will lead them.

i worry about it all. i sleep on it then i live.