i’ve said b4 and i’ll say it a million times more that my gyrl is the inspiration behind the Hard Candy Calendar project. but she isn’t the only source of inspiration. the world is my inspiration. a great song can force me 2 c things that i never seen b4. a gorgeous movie can make me write a poem. the smell of cookies makes me wanna dance. u know that happy dance that little kids do. singing “i’m gon get some coooookieess!” yeah. that’s inspiration. anything that causes a show of self expression is inspiration. a musician on the street makes me wanna write a screenplay. a piece of garbage blowing in the wind makes me want 2 step up 2 a podium and make a speech. inspired, i am. but u know what inspires me the most? people doing stuff.

LOL i know that sounds incredibly simple. almost stupid. but look around u. there are soo many people not doing a damn thing with themselves. nothing. y’all see them in your family. or maybe one or two of your friends. only one or two tho. cuz if u got more friends than that who aren’t about anything, then chances are u aren’t either. i’m just saying like attracts.

i have been fortunate 2 b inspired by people who are doing all kinds of things. from the grand (writing, directing a producing a movie), to the sublime (counseling cancer patients), to the pure (spending every week caring for grandparents). doing something, anything, with yourself is not an impossible task. nor is it a requirement in life. that’s why it’s such a big deal 2 me. just like Joe Clark said, “all i gotta do is stay black and die”. some people have taken that to heart. so the ones that step way from that and decide to write a poem. or spend extra time tending to their garden, i can’t help but notice.

Nike has the best slogan in the world. Just Do It. beautiful in its simplicity. full of power. dynamic. and inspiring.

so y’all know what i do. what do u do? inspire me.

the other day i got a note asking 4 advice about studs. sure, i am the self proclaimed #1 stud lover but i never thought that it made me an expert. or does it?

hmmmmm….. like the famous zoologist, Dian Fossey studying her gorillas, i study the stud. i hang out with them, photographing them and even chose one 2 live with so that i might observe her in her natural habitat. the elusive studicus urbanus is easy 2 snare (given that they are prone 2 becoming mesmorized by round asses and shiny lips) yet they are extremely difficult to keep in captivity. can these wild beasts be contained, tamed and kept as domestic pets? i have been successfully holding one and have affectionaely named her ‘D’. training her for the past seven years in the ways of the human woman. it’s been a long and arduous journey but has yeilded some great results.

i have yet 2 know all of the stud species: the tomboyus musculus, the androgynopod principalis and the butchtica are just a few. i realize that i have many more years of study ahead of me. Dian lived with the gorillas for 18 years. i’ve only had a few and i’ve yet to scratch the surface of this mysterious bunch. i push on. i should be starting a thesis or something, right? LOL

but seriously tho, i have gotten many notes and emails over the years from many of these type of womyn thanking me 4 my project. many that have said that they had no idea that they could’ve been models. they are encouraged 2 pursure a career that they thought was off limits 2 them.

these letters encourage me to keep going. keep studying, keep photographing and to keep creating. thanx ladies. you are my sisters. this is about you. and i won’t stop doin it.

my gyrl wrote a piece that was supposed to be posted for the Independence Day. but i’m glad i waited. it works so much better now. so i’m gonna turn over today’s post to her.

After Further Reflection…
by Danielle Jones

I have always had to fight..fight for space in my mother's womb..fight to be seen as one, not two..fight to come out at fifteen..fight to express my talents creatively..fight fear..fight love..fight to just be..me..
Now I live confidently...

Hard Candy Calendar has produced beyond our wildest dreams. Our models have been featured on stage, in films and on the runway. The pathway that HC models have tread is truly making an endellible mark on our community. What began as merely an artistic expression with a charitable intent has created a space where dominant women are presented beautifully and authentically.

And after further reflection, I am celebrating seven years of healing now.. I actually finished my final treatments in June 2003. I guess last year was about celebrating the lessons of the process..this year..this year is just a celebration. I made a movie , "Genderblind", that features gyrls like me. One of our original and most influential models, Milon is now seasoned and has recently completed a highly successful runway show where she created an avenue to showcase LGBT community during Black Pride at a historic location, the DuSable Museum of African American History. Our own Brandee Young has been recently signed as a full-figured model. It is magnificent to see Jen's strange fruit, Hard Candy, take root and give seed to so much more than its original intent. It's all about growth... this is the Rise of the Stud. The Future is now.

Upon celebrating the seventh year of surviving the battle for my life, I feel healed..
We've made stars and had stripes..It is a revolution..gyrls like me are seen as we truly are..shining honestly..living free..

What's next... iono... enjoying the liberation..embracing the infinite possibilitites ...

Danielle Jones is currently starring in the movie Genderblind which is set to have it’s Atlanta GA premier September 4th, 2010

this past Sunday, Hard Candy Calendar had it’s first meet & greet for the models for the upcoming 2011 calendar. in our conversations, we got the basics: name. age. zodiac sign. but then the question was asked: “what’s your story?” we learned of students, actresses, models (of course), corrections officers and artists. then these beautiful womyn shared themselves and their stories of their connection with the Hard Candy cause: breast cancer. they spoke of family members, lovers and even first hand experience of surviving the disease. the entire meet was then transformed into a meeting of spirits. i became even more inspired, even more encouraged and even more motivated to work on this project. i must confess with my personal stresses, my motivation got a little muddy. over the years in talking about the project, i’ve presented numerous reasons for putting the calendar together. each year i added a new reason. but this year got a little dark. rumours and hate, money concerns, death and illness sent me 2 a bad place and i couldn’t create. my artistic vision became invisible. it was still there, i just couldn’t see it anymore. i was paralyzed by negativity. the project moved forward (thanx 2 Brandee) even as i stalled and held back. then the Universe stepped in (as always) and sent an amazing group of womyn 2 help me with my latest journey. i couldn’t believe how blessed i was to have these beautiful souls come together for this project.

in the past i never bothered to ask the models why they wanted 2 b a part of the calendar until this year. well, actually that was my faithful assistant’s idea (thanx Brandee, again). it’s not that i never cared b4, i just didn’t think so many would share my passion. actually, i just didn’t think. and because i didn’t think, we lost our reason for doing it last year. lost that focus. what was our motivation? was it just something to do? i didn’t realize the malaise that i had fallen into until i met these 2011 Future Studs (and femmes;)

my motivation has returned in full force. now i’m overflowing, almost overwhelmed with motivation and determination. i want so badly 2 serve these womyn well and present them in a way that truly represents their real beauty, grace and strength. they are fun, thoughtful, intelligent and creative bunch and i look forward to bringing our energies together to create another year of celebrating the stud.

Hard Candy is here for all the womyn who have been touched by breast cancer. we always have been and always will be. i can’t wait 2 start shooting these womyn. i am motivated 2 create this calendar by the battle with breast cancer. what’s your motivation 4 doin what u do?

but regardless of what i think, it still counts as another example of the boxes that people try 2 put us in. check this list out.

I. “touch me not” Butch/Stud

This is usually the type of dyke that has gender identity disorder(she thinks and wants to be a man).She takes on the very dominant role in relationships, the male role to be exact. She dresses like a man and acts like a man. There is nothing feminine about her. She is sometimes more of a man than some men. In bed she will only want to make love to her women with a strap on. She will not want women to touch her breast, or her vagina, go down on her or provide her with any type of pleasure. She wants to do all the pleasuring. She does not want women to touch her breast etc, because it reminds her that she is a woman.

II. New Age Stud aka Totally Tomboy

She also takes on the dominant role in the relationship. She does not mind her fem touching her body, giving her head etc. She likes to be pleasured in bed by her women. She however is the dominant party in bed and is usually if not always, on top. She will use a strap-on occassionally in bed, but it is not necessary to love making. She can either dress very masculine, or she can sometimes be androgenous. On rare occassions or if she has to (like meeting the parents for the first time) she can go femme for short periods.

III. Fem-Stud

This is the type of dyke that is very dominant and is all boy in her thinking. She however has no problem rocking a short tight hairdo that would make a femme jealous. Or she could wear it long. She will usually wear baggy clothes and dress boy on the street, but she will do the femme thing occassionally. These are the type of studs that rule Coperate America. She will throw on a Jones of New York suit like its nothing, but still have a unmistakably boy edge. She is so fly that even men are drawn to her charms, even though she is very obviously gay. She is very similar to the New Age Stud in bed.

IV. Pseudo stud aka the “I wish I was hard” stud

This is the type of stud that is a pretender. She is hard on the street, around her boyz and femmes that she is not dating. When she goes home to her femme, however, she drops the facade. Her girl takes control and may even dominate her in bed. She may even allow her girl to use a strap-on with her. Her girl may sometimes wonder who the femme really is in the relationship. This type of stud may also have a secret attraction to fem-studs, new age studs and in some cases butches. A lot of white dykes fall in this category (u see themwalking around holding hands, butch with butch.) On rare cases you see them in the black community. You know the type, where you are constantly wondering who`s the daddy. This is the type of stud that needs to have her stud card revoked!!!

V. Fake Butch

This is usually a femme who wants to attract other femmes by dressing like a Butch/Stud. She will try to
act the hard role, but her heart is not in it. She is only doing it to
attract a femme. When they get into a relationship with a femme, they usually can`t keep up the pretense and eventually femme out.

V1. The Versatile Dyke AKA “the lost somewhere in between” dyke..***New category***

This is thetypeof dyke that constantly keeps the masses guessing…is she a stud, is she a femme? Sometimes when you see her out, she is dressed totally femme, yet other times she does the Tomboy/Soft butch thing. She is attracted to goodlooking butch types, but just as attracted to stunning femmes. She likes what is pleasing to her eye. If she is with a stud, she acts the submissive part and is totally femme (she does not do Tomboys/Soft butches that often, only because they can`t keep her in check like a Butch can). When she is with a femme, she plays the dominant role, and will occassinally do the Soft butch/Tomboy thing, if her girls wants it like that. In bed she can be dominant or submissive, whatever she is called on to be. But don`t be mislead by this one, homegirl can work a strap-on or her tongue as well as any butch/tomboy can.

NOW TO DO YOU FEMMES

I. Pillow Princess or Ultra Femme

This is the type that usually gets with a “touch me not” Butch/Stud. She is used to being taken care of by her butch. She is also used to being pleasured totally in bed. She will not give her women head (because she does notknow how, or never has had to learn how.) She will treat her butch like a woman would treat a man. Their roles are old fashioned and rigid.

II. New Age femme

She is all woman and very feminine. She will however like to play an active role in the bedroom. She will enjoy pleasuring her woman, and especially like to give her head. She will usually get with a “touch me not” butch and be unhappy, or get with a new age Stud/Fem-stud and be satisfied totally. She will also mess around with femmes ocassionally,
for the sexual gratification, and to be able to explore her like a Butch or a Tomboy won`t allow. She however won`t be able to form long lasting relationships with femmes, because she loves the dominance of a Butch or a Tomboy.

III. Dominant/Aggressive femme

She will dress and act totally feminine. She will however be very dominant. She willonly date feminine women, and will usually take on the dominant role in sex. This category of femme also occassionaly do the fake butch thing.

New Category****and a lil` something for you bi-sexual women that hit me up asking about where you fit in..

1. True Bi-sexual

This is a woman that can form meaningful relationships with both sexes. When she is with a woman, she is with her, and fits totally intothe gay world with no problems. When she is with a man, she fits totally into the straight world, and totally loves him. She is not really confused, she just falls in love with a person and not a gender. She usually prefers sex with women, but some can enjoy both equally. She is usually attracted to stud/tomboy types but may have a lot of problems in the relationship, because of the stud`s/tomboy`s fear that she is not true to the game, and will eventually go back to men. Sexually she is usually aggressive in bed.

11. Fake bi-sexual

This is the type of woman that most of us lesbians hate to deal with. This is the type of woman that is not really bi-sexual, she is just having sex with a woman for the “freak factor.” In other words she is just freaky in bed, and that is all it is to her “just being freaky.” She will usually have a boyfriend and want him to join in on the fun. Though sometimes, if their man is cool with it, they will have sex one on one with a woman. These are the type of aggravating h@es that hit your page up asking if you are down for a threesome. Or have personal ads asking for threesomes. These are also the women on Bp who put on their page “I already got a man..just looking for a feminine female friend…so men don`t respond.” A lot of the time they are just having sex with a woman to please their man. They are mostly only attracted to femme women, because this is the only type of woman that their man will allow in the bedroom. Also they are just doing it for sex, so they want a woman that looks and acts like a woman. This is thetype of woman that most of us “real dykes” run from. She will usually date other fake- bisexual women, or luck up and get with a bi-curious woman and turn her off or on, to sex with other women.

the news this past week wore me down. no lemme correct that. the reactions 2 the news wore me down. i have this little guilty pleasure of reading comments to news stories. sometimes, i scroll down and read the comments b4 i actually read the news. can’t help it. it’s where i get my drama fix.

anyway, last week Palin said something controversial (what else is new) and it sparked a whole man vs. woman debate. being a womanis one label that i cannot shake and it’s one that carries a lot of responsibilities, stereotypes, privileges and hinerances. then there was our president. it’s almost hilarious that when Obama was elected folks started throwing around the term “post-racial”. seriously? his win actually brough out more racism. every time he’s in the news, the worst of the worst racists come out 2 hate him. i feel more threatened now then i’ve ever felt in my life. now mind you, my age puts me after the atroscities of slavery, jim crow, segregation and the like. we’re moving away from the quiet covert racism to the very upfront, i hate ni&&ers kind. now mind u, i don’t hate whites (or any other group). but that doesn’t mean, i don’t stay on my toes when i’m around them. being on the alert all the damn time is exhausting.

now the courts are making headway on the gays getting married thing (yay). but now here comes the Bible toting hypocrites. i know my Bible is wrong cuz it’s not the “hate only gays” kind. stories about gays getting married always gets thousands of comments. u know, outside of my family, i rarely associate or socialize with str8? i don’t have a problem with them, i just… *sigh* staying on my toes again ya know. a lot of folks r cool but a lot of folks are not. a lot. i just need to relax.

small little nitpicky labels: went 2 the beach last week. work a bikini. yeah, it was little bit too tiny. but i’m small, i could get away with it. that is until a “thick” gyrl comes along and decides to hate. been struggling with body image my whole life. it is what it is. skinny. that’s another one my labels. i actually allowed a couple of young gyrls make me feel self concious. damn shame. almost forty and i let someone make me feel bad about my body? really? it was a moment. i got over it. just not as quickly as i’d liked. some chick from american idol was in the news. got her teeth fixed. is it news? nope. did it matter? not at all. not to me or anyone else. instead the commentary centered around her locs. i love locs. but soooooooooo many people hate them. i’m a dread head. another one of my labels. not a burden. just another label.

everyday was another label placed on me like bricks in a knapsack. black… female… gay…then i look at my gyrl and realize she has one more brick 2 carry. black… female… gay… butch…

i think about the stares. the rude remarks. the fights we’ve had. over the role of “daddy”. tryin 2 find your place in a society that doesn’t want 2 make room for u has got 2 b taxing. i’m surprised more studs aren’t permanently angry. pissed that they are treated like everyone’s enemy. the label of stud does carry a stigma. it carries the pressures of what u’r supposed 2 b. come on y’all, everyone has heard someone talk about what a stud is supposed 2 wear. how she’s supposed 2 walk and talk. what her role is in a relationship. all that despite the fact that in general (homohpobic) society a stud is not even supposed to exist. it’s like a damned if u do, damned if u don’t type of thing. if u gon b a stud u gotta be this way. and it’s not just one way. it’s a million ways. folks got so many different versions of what a stud is, it’s not even funny. i love studs. (hence the calendar) but sometimes, i do think the whole concept is ridiculous. it’s unecessarily complicated. and too much trouble. so much work. i watch studs and get tired. (i’m sure they watch femmes and get tired too. wearing stiletos ain’t no joke. LOL) but seriously. i admire studs. i sympathize with them and sometimes feel bad for them. femmes don’t get half the shit that studs do. all the more reason why they need our love and support. by ‘our’ i mean the entire community. not just femmes.

yeah, i said labels are necessary. but i wish the world could focus on just one. one that we all share. one that binds us. one that makes all those other labels stick. one that encompasses everything. the good and the bad. a label without stereotypes and stigmas. one that has no pros or cons. it just is.

at the end of each day. and at the beginning of every tomorrow, i reject most of the labels and sit in a quiet place and just allow myself to hold on to that one label. and that’s the label of… human.

here we go again. labels. stud, tomboi, androgyn, butch, domme, aggressive… u know the list. “why do we need labels?” the question echoes in every conversation about the subject. well, i think we need them so folks could know what the hell we’re talking about.

“what kinda wall calendar is it, jennifer?”

“ugh… umm… a uh… calendar of womyn who don’t wear skirts too often…”

does that work? is that better? is that less harsh?

i get it. no on wants 2 b pigeon holed. hell, my gyrl doesn’t even go by the term stud and the calendar is dedicated to her! doesn’t really matter. or does it?

there was even a slightly heated conversation regarding the androgynous model Milon at her runway show (TOTR) here in Chicago. Someone felt that she wasn’t androgynous and shouldn’t have even used to the word 2 describe herself. really? really, really? so now we have people who reject labels and tell other folks what labels they should carry.

when Hard Candy Calendar started, there wasn’t a dominant female model in sight. it just wasn’t accepted imagery. now six years later (yes, i know the math: 6 yrs but only 3 calendars. i’ll explain later), there are androgyn models everywhere. i’ve received emails/letters from gyrls/womyn who are inspired an encouraged because they see faces like theirs in print. labels b damned. they know who they are and they see that the calendar is about them. Hard Candy Calendar’s motto has always been “Bringing the Dominant Womanhe Forefront”. Now in 2010 they’re being seen adn presented in full glory but we still don’t know what 2 call them?! really?

Do labels help or hinder? Take the poll on the Hard Candy Calendar website

And since we’re talkin about ties, I learned that there are a lot of people who don’t know exactly how to tie a necktie. Well if u’r gonna wear these unique pieces of wearable art, u gotta know how to put it on to maximize your swagger. Here are a few tips:

Tying a Necktie

The Four-in-Hand Knot is the most popular type of necktie knot and easiest to learn, probably over 80% of tie wearers knot their ties with this. The knot is long and straight but slightly lopsided.

The Half-Windsor Knot is a medium triangular knot that is considered more formal than the four-in-hand.

The Windsor Knot is a wide triangular knot that is usually worn for formal occasions, this type of knot should be worn with wide spread collar shirts.

The Pratt/Shelby knot is Semi-wide knot, when beginning to tie this knot the tie is turned outward.

Quick Tips to Wearing a Tie

• The front point of your tie should be just long enough to touch the waist of your pants.
• Your tie should be darker than the color of your shirt.
• The general width of a tie is 3.5 inches, this width will not fall out of style.
• The width of a tie should be approximately the same width of the coat’s lapel, if the lapel is wide, the tie should be wide and if the lapel is narrow the tie should be narrow.
• The knot of the tie should be proportional to the collar, it should not be too big where it spreads the collar or forces it open and it shouldn’t be too small that it becomes lost in the collar.
• The color of your tie should not clash with your outfit but the colors should not be so similar that they fade into the suit.
• The main color of a patterned tie should complement your suit and the secondary color should pick up your shirt.
• The texture of the tie should go with your outfit, for instance a shiny silk tie should go with a shiny silk shirt and a wool tie should be worn with a wool suit.

Caring for your Tie

• A properly cared for tie can last you virtually forever.
• Hang up your ties, it helps take out some of the wrinkles. Knit ties can be stretched when hung, so gently roll them up and store them in a drawer.
• Hang ties up on a rack designed for that purpose. Ties slip and twist on hangers, and will probably fall off.
• Rolling up the tie from the narrow end first and leaving it for a couple of days will remove wrinkles in the tie.
• Storing ties out of the light prevents fading.
• For traveling, loosely roll ties and place them inside a pair of socks or use a tie case.
• Cut any loose threads on your tie. Pulling them can do major damage to your tie.
• Don’t wear the same tie twice in a row, ties need time to return to its normal shape.
• Always unknot your tie when you are not wearing it, leaving it knotted can damage the tie and cause create permanent wrinkles.
• To untie your tie, reverse the tying procedure. Pulling the smaller end through the knot can cause the tie to stretch out of shape.

The mission of the gala was to raise money for the building fund for Jackie’s Place, a temporary women’s housing shelter for victims of unemployment, sexual assault and domestic violence.

A silent auction took place to further help the cause with incredible items donated by local artists around the theme of shoes and ties.

The highlight of the gala for me was live entertainment which was provided by Grammy nominated rapper/actress Yo-Yo. She gave a spirited performance that had the keep the crowd moving. She took the time out to show her support for the LGBT community and womyn particularly. Taking special note that she is an “advocate for everyone”. After the performance she stayed for pictures and to enjoy herself on the dance floor.

I could probably go on and on and on about that nite, but I think it would be best to just show the pics….check em out on facebook/Hard Candy Calendar or myspace

By TIMBERLY ROSS, Associated Press Writer Timberly Ross, Associated Press Writer – Sat Mar 13, 6:32 pm ET
Jene Newsome played by the rules as an Air Force sergeant: She never told anyone in the military she was a lesbian. The 28-year-old’s honorable discharge under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy came only after police officers in Rapid City, S.D., saw an Iowa marriage certificate in her home and told the nearby Ellsworth Air Force Base.

Newsome and the American Civil Liberties Union filed a complaint against the western South Dakota police department, claiming the officers violated her privacy when they informed the military about her sexual orientation. The case also highlights concerns over the ability of third parties to “out” service members, especially as the Pentagon has started reviewing the 1993 “don’t ask, don’t tell” law.

“I played by ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’” Newsome told The Associated Press by telephone.

“I just don’t agree with what the Rapid City police department did. … They violated a lot of internal policies on their end, and I feel like my privacy was violated.”

The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy has come under renewed debate after Defense Secretary Robert Gates called for a sweeping internal study on the law earlier this year.

As the review is under way, officials were also expected to suggest ways to relax enforcement that may include minimizing cases of third-party outings. In particular, Gates has suggested that the military might not have to expel someone whose sexual orientation was revealed by a third party out of vindictiveness or suspect motives.

The Rapid City Police Department says Newsome, an aircraft armament system craftsman who spent nine years in the Air Force, was not cooperative when they showed up at her home in November with an arrest warrant for her partner, who was wanted on theft charges in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Newsome was at work at the base at the time and refused to immediately come home and assist the officers in finding her partner, whom she married in Iowa — where gay marriage is legal — in October.

Police officers, who said they spotted the marriage license on the kitchen table through a window of Newsome’s home, alerted the base, police Chief Steve Allender said in a statement sent to the AP. The license was relevant to the investigation because it showed both the relationship and residency of the two women, he said.

“It’s an emotional issue and it’s unfortunate that Newsome lost her job, but I disagree with the notion that our department might be expected to ignore the license, or not document the license, or withhold it from the Air Force once we did know about it,” Allender said Saturday. “It was a part of the case, part of the report and the Air Force was privileged to the information.”

He said his department does not seek to expose gay military personnel or investigate the sexuality of Rapid City residents.

Allender said the department was finishing its internal investigation and has determined the officers acted appropriately. They have not been placed on leave during the investigation.

Newsome’s partner is currently out on bail on one felony and three misdemeanor counts of theft stemming from an incident last year, court officials in Fairbanks said. More information was not immediately available, and Newsome said she didn’t know the status of the case and didn’t provide more details about it.

In the complaint filed last month with the department, ACLU South Dakota said police had no legal reason to tell the military Newsome was a lesbian and that officers knew if they did, it would jeopardize her military career.

Newsome, who was discharged in January, said she didn’t know where the marriage license was in her home when police came to her house on Nov. 20 and claims the officers were retaliating because she wouldn’t help with her partner’s arrest.

“This information was intentionally turned over because of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and to out Jene so that she would lose her military status,” said Robert Doody, executive director of ACLU South Dakota. The ACLU is focusing its complaint on the police department, not the military, and Newsome said she and her attorney have not yet decided on whether to file a lawsuit.

“The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ piece is important and critical to this, but also it’s a police misconduct case,” Doody said.

A U.S. Air Force spokesman, Senior Airman Adam Grant, said Ellsworth follows all laws set out by Congress and the Defense Department, and he would not comment specifically on Newsome’s discharge, citing privacy policy.

More than 13,500 service members have been discharged under the law since 1994, according to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, which is lobbying for its repeal. Kevin Nix, communications director of the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit, couldn’t speak about Newsome’s case, but said when “someone is outed by a third party, which it sounds like this was, or by a police officer, then, yeah … I’m not surprised the person was discharged.”

Though rare, third-party outing can be especially damaging to service members who wanted to keep their sexual orientation hidden, experts say.

Even though 80 percent of “don’t ask, don’t tell” discharges come from gay and lesbian service members who out themselves, third-party outings are “some of the most heinous instances of ‘don’t, ask, don’t tell,’” said Nathaniel Frank, a research fellow with the Palm Center think tank at the University of California, Santa Barbara and a New York University professor.

Newsome, who is originally from Harrisburg, Pa., is currently on the road, driving to Alaska. She said she’d been looking forward to the time when the military would alter its policies regarding gays and lesbians. But that change didn’t come in time to save her career.

“I felt like it was getting close,” she said. “I was really hopeful.”