Men not wanted but needed
it’s June and just like last month was about mothers. this month is about the fathers. well, i dunno if i could dedicate a month’s worth of posts about men (and how they relate to us), but let’s see.
last month’s poll was about dating womyn with children. pleasantly, most people displayed no prejudice against the mommies. a few people would under certain conditions and one person said they’d date a woman with kids as long as the father wasn’t in the picture. that’s a very curious answer. i would love 2 ask her 2 elaborate. but since i can’t. i will go on the conversations that i’ve personally had about men and the necessity of their presence.
the common stereotype about lesbians is that we hate men. i’ll speak 4 myself in saying that that is absolutely not true. i was a daddy’s gyrl all the way. i love my brother dearly. and i have a slew of uncles and male cousins that have made my life much richer. i don’t have a romantic interest in them but i recognize that they do bring a balance to life. i imagine that the only reason that that person said they’d get involved with a mommy if the daddy wasn’t around is due to the idea that they may be threatened by his presence. but if a person is worried about their mate going back, then it doesn’t matter if the baby daddy was there or not. there’s a lack of trust and that’s a-whole-nother issue.
i believe that kids should have the benefit of a father or father figure in their lives but not in that rigid traditional sense. i am of the belief that it does take a village to raise a child and think that that male figure can come in the form of granddad, uncle, brother, cousin and even friend down the block. while i was adamant about my kids’ father being in their lives and am grateful that he is. however, if he wasn’t, i would get past the disappointment and find other ways to get that masculine influence in their life. it’s sad to think that there are some lesbians that think that men were not needed. that’s crazy talk. everyone and everything in this Universe is needed. ( i swear one day scientists are gonna find out that the appendix did something great for us. but i digress LOL) males are needed. but i think how they’re injected into one’s life is flexible.
Men play just as important a role in a child’s life as women. To deny that piece is to alter so much about a child’s natural development and I would argue that they have a tougher adjustment to developing parts of their character that would naturally be derived from the enviromental stimulation of both genders. The taboo needs to become a taboo and acceptance should be the standard by which young lives are nurtured. Male influence is essential and if the father isn’t a suitable mentor, other family members should be sought. I thank God my brothers and dad are a staple part of my nephews young life.
