Worries of a Gay Mom
i’m a natural worrier. i just do it. for everything. i worry about germs. i worry about war. i worry about finances. i worry about the weather. just worry. and having children multiplied the worry factor by 100. i have 2 little human beings to worry about. i worry about their health. i worry about their grades. i worry about their future. i worry. the same worries that all mothers have. now add in the gay thing. that just multiplied the worry by another 100.
i worry that they won’t understand. i wonder if they’ll be teased. i worry if they’ll resent me. i worry if they’ll miss out on a “normal” life. i worry if they’ll have worries.
i second guessed myself for a little while but realized that i can only do the best i can and let the Universe handle the rest. i meditate and pray. i rationalize and explain. but the worries persist. i don’t feel guilt…
anymore…
i worry. they love their other mom. but only after a very rough adjustment phase. i worry if it’s over or if more adjustment is needed. my son will be a teenager soon. i worry that gay mommy will be more ammunition for rebellion. he’s a good boy but i can’t stop hormones from doing what they do.
i worry about the burden that they have to bear. seems like a bit much to place on an autistic daughter. she already has one challenge and here i am giving her another. tho’ she is handling it all like a pro. i’m so proud of her. i wonder. i worry. then i wonder. where this all will lead them.
i worry about it all. i sleep on it then i live.
I often wonder and worry about the same things. I am a lesbian raising two boys. I worry if they’ll be gay just because they see that everyday, I worry if they’ll be made fun of or laughed at. I worry that I can’t give them what they need. How can a woman raise 2 growing boys??? I try the best I can by telling them to hold doors open for women and always let a woman take a turn first (yes I even do this at the park when it comes to slides and swings)…I don’t know…I just worry…I never knew you could worry so much about the future. I never cared about the future, now I know that every decision I make for them today affects their future…and that scares the SHIT out of me!!!
I worry because I have a nephew and sometimes I don’t think my sister is capable of raising him on her own. I worry because I want her to get married and provide him with a solid foundation instead of struggling as she does as a single parent and dating aimlessly. I worry, but not a mother’s worry, and I could never know the depth of the worrying that you mothers do. But I can only imagine, and wonder about the weight of such a responsibility that comes with bringing a human life into the world and nurturing their growth and worrying about their well-being and quality of life. It’s a blessing and sometimes from the outside looking in, at times it can be an overbearing burden, but strengh overcomes and unconditional love perseveres and all you can do is your very best. That’s all any of us can do. We worry, we laugh, we live, we love and we worry some more. It comes with the cycle of life, and knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to withstand, but just know you aren’t alone.
