Mom by Association
in keeping with the theme of Mother’s Day this month, i’d like to discuss womyn who date womyn with kids. as a woman with kids, i’m happy that they don’t discriminate like so many others do. their perogative of course but it’s nice to know that there are some who don’t treat womyn with kids as damaged goods.
anywho, here’s the other half of my rant on my previous post. while i think that womyn with kids shouldn’t just throw their kids on their dates, i think that womyn who date womyn with kids shouldn’t just up and call themselves a mother just cuz their dating a woman who is. i recently had a friend announce to me that she’s a mother. i’m like “whuuu? when where how did this happen?” oh her new gyrlfriend has a kid. oh ok. yeah, right.
so the minute these womyn meet someone they’re ready to start a college fund, miss days from work to nurse a high fever, buy underwear and discuss why little johnny is misbehaving with his teacher? HELL NAW THEY AIN’T! folks need to stop pretending and playing games just for a piece of ass. pretty much playing a role or getting played. i dunno which. none of these make shift momma’s are gonna put that child above all else at the drop of a dime but yet, they want 2 call themselves momma just cuz the chick they’re dating is a mother. it just doesn’t work that way.
i’ve seen womyn dating pregnant chicks. WTF? they just got off the dick and folks are ready to date and take over the duty of the father. how and why would one do that? honestly, i couldn’t date a person who just got out of a relationship that quickly let alone carrying around a remnant of that relationship in their belly. who’s to say if they’re really even over that relationship? but like i said, i can’t judge every situation as the same. it’s just not a good look. yet, there is no shortage of womyn (usually studs) who jump right in and start buying diapers. and then when the relationship is over, they quickly jump out of the role like it meant nothing. this gyrl once told me that she can get over kids just the same as getting over the ex. that sounded horrible to me. and not what a real mother would/could do. if any of these womyn were serious about being momma’s they wouldn’t take the job so flippantly and they wouldn’t quit the job as soon as the relationship is over.
Nice follow-up on your previous post. This is the day to celebrate mothers so Happy Mother’s Day to you and your readers. With that said, I’ll tag team your post and add a simple “Amen”. I’ve dated my share of women with children and I’ve never once assumed a role beyond mommy’s significant other or girlfriend and have tried my best to be a mentor, role model and friend before anything else. That’s what needs to be the primary concern; being a role model, not defining a role and requiring a child to call you something you clearly aren’t to them. Nothing wrong with being daddi to Mami, but when it comes to children is it really all that appropriate? Looking forward to your follow-ups.
