What the Hell is a Real Stud?
ok, b4 i start i have to state that i love my studs. actually, i don’t have 2 say so. y’all know i do. and eventhough i have a passion for the dominant woman, i don’t know what they are exactly. i have no true understanding of the complexities that make up the masculine oriented lesbian.
every time i hear the phrase ‘real stud’ it usually refers to the most masculine of woman. the woman that has erased the most characteristics of being a feminine woman. i’m almost overwhelmed by the irony. the very idea that the less you are what u are the more real you are at something else. crazy stuff.
fact of the matter is. a stud is a completely made up concept. hell, we all know that if u look up stud in the dictionary, the first thing u read is that it’s a horse! then it’s a virile man. ok, so we hijacked the second definition and applied it stereotypically to a woman who has a specific style. that’s cool. honestly, i like the term stud. of course in other areas and groups they are butch, doms and aggressives etc. i even heard somewhere they’re even called machos. whaaa? *shrug* ok. whatever works. but the language is not what i’m discussing here. that’s another post for another day. right now it’s the definition of the terms. when referring to the stud what does it mean? and what makes her real? or not real?
what defines a stud varies from person to person. so there can’t ever be a real one because what’s real to one person gets diminished by another. if a stud does something that is considered “gyrlie” then she loses her stud card. but we all have to agree on what can safely fall into the general gyrl category and the gyrlie gyrl category. can a stud wear lip gloss, thongs? i say yes, of couse. cuz my definition is more of attitude and thought process rather than outward appearances. clothes are just clothes. someone else would beg to differ.
so i’m scratching my head every time i hear the phrase ‘real stud’. “she’s not a real stud” “that’s not a real stud”. well what the hell is? and who gets to make up these rules? it all seems rather silly to me. when a female is born. she’s a categorized as a female simply based on having a vagina. that’s it. before any examinations take place. before she is given a name. she comes from her mother and the doctor says “it’s a gyrl”. that’s it. she doesn’t have a swagger. she’s not lookin for her lipstick. so as time goes on, and that gyrl gets to know herself amidst this kooky society and ever changing culture. she creates a definition. simultaneously, the outside world gives her a defninition. sometimes they match sometimes they don’t. but if the general idea is the same why nitpick over lil details? how u gon tell someone they’re not real? if they’re standing b4 you. they are real. if it’s real to them. then that’s all that anyone can ask for.
I was going to write something similar, but you beat me to it! I was just thinking about this the other day. A real stud or a real hard woman. What does that mean? Everyone has their own definitions. It makes it that much more important that we have dialogue like this.
I agree. People also like to say “real women…blah blah blah”. Everybody has their own definitions of what makes up a “real… whatever”. I dislike when people say someone isn’t “real” for a number of reasons.
SHE is whoever she feels, wants, needs to be on the inside and out. She is only defined by herself, not others, for they must ask her permission to label her anything. That is one of the epitomies of being a “real stud”. Being an invidivual. Being Independent. Thanks for writing this. I’m sorry I missed it earlier. We are who we are and that’s all we can really do, be ourselves.
It sucks when we’re defined by pre-conceived notions instead of our individuality.
Wow! I feel the same way. That is why I don’t really care for labels. Once you have been labeled and put into a category, almost anything you do that doesn’t fit the decription means you are not real or are confused. At some point it caused me to have to hold back parts of me.
