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I came across Malinda Lo’s Notes & Queeries column published on AfterEllen.com. It is truly a pleaser to hear from a fellow butch admirer. She discussed the negative view of butch womyn in the media. All points that she presented, I agreed with but couldn’t help but wonder: is it worse to be portrayed negatively or not at all?” I kept thinking to myself, at least there are images of white lesbians in the community. I can’t find a black lesbian to save my life. Being a person who likes to be about it as well as talk about it, I took it upon myself to create a wall calendar for African American butch womyn that’s done quite well but it still isn’t mainstream.  I’m not trying to make the petty argument of comparing struggles. I just tend to keep track of all the work that needs to be done. I just wanted to say that I see some visibility as…well… something. It gets the ball rolling and starts the dialogue.

Lo discusses how butchness is treaded by the mainstream and expressed how irritated and offended she is by some examples. Well you think that’s bad? Try throwing a little black on top of that. Lo speaks of the latest butch “it” gyrl, Rachael Maddow. They add a touch of rosiness to her lips and cheeks as a reminder that America is still terrified of anyone who might be butch. But she’s there. So American can’t be that scared. So is Ellen. So is K.D. Lang. All with thriving careers. It’s a start. But I have zero examples of African American lesbians in the mainstream let alone a butch one. Wait, what’s Wanda? LOL Ok, so she’s gonna be the black lesbian go-to chick from now on. We are faced with extra obstacles in our community and I think being butch is one that is so far down on the list of hurdles that it never gets reached.

I recall a butch friend of mine trying to make it in the music business as a singer once told me when I asked her why she “femmed” herself up she replied,” cuz no one wants to see that shit!” She said it with such venom that she almost made me think that she didn’t want to see herself that way. Even though she always appeared butch when she wasn’t performing. She recognized the problem but chose to join them instead of trying to beat them. There’s plenty of anxiety from straights in regards to butch womyn but it s more frustrating when it comes from your own. In a recent episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens had to give make overs to some pretty masculine womyn. While I can’t make ASSumptions about their sexuality, it was clear that they picked womyn with a masculine edge for more dramatic affect. I’m sure even a femme made up like a drag queen would be as much of a spectacle. But they had to take the swagger out of these very tough womyn. And for what? So we can say “wow, u’r just like any other woman?” So what.

Gay or not a black woman who isn’t completely feminine can’t make it far in the media at all. There will not be any black Ellens or black Rachaels. Not for a while at least. Remember when Alicia Keyes first stepped on the scene? Head full of braids and a swagger to match. I saw her on Letterman talking about how she don’t do dresses and will never do them. My how times have changed. Now she looks like one of the Dreamgirls and is a bigger star than ever. Ok, that was a long time ago and people change. However, that change occurred with Queen Latifah and Eve. They didn’t seem to really get that momentum until they slapped on more Cover Girl and pumps. Sorry I can’t really present examples of black lesbians and how the media portrays them. There are no black lesbians in the media! Damn, Wanda didja lock the door behind ya when you came out? While Maddow charms her way into the mainstream and Ellen tickles her way onto the cover of O Magazine, America still has a closet full of black gays that aren’t even considering coming out. And I’m afraid that my sweet studs will be the last to make an appearance. That’s cool. The finale is always the best part of the show.